So I have been contemplating my routine revamp and my priorities in life. During church on Sunday, all the speakers in sacrament meeting spoke on patience and being slow to anger. This really hit home with me. Once of the things that I am really imbalanced on is my patience level and my hot temper......the imbalance isn't in a good way, either.
Both Monday and today, I have worked really hard to be patient. Patient with my kids even when they are whining and disobeying. Patient with the stage of life that I am in. Patient with being self employed. Patient with the Lord's time table. Patient with not having all the answers and solutions to some issues in my life that I want worked out this minute.
When I am fearful of something, I want the solution right away. However, the Lord doesn't always give us inspiration right away. There is one situation in particular in my life right now that I want to figure out my game plan with all the contingencies. I want it figured out right now what I am going to do if situation A arises and what I am going to do if situation B arises, etc. I want all the contingencies worked out right now. I am learning to take a step back and trust that the Lord will provide me with the right solution at the right time. He will let me know the best course to take before I need to take it....even if it is only minutes before. Sometimes, in my haste to get things worked out, I don't have enough information and the course of action I set my mind on doesn't turn out to be the best once I get more information. I need to be more patient with my Father in Heaven.
I have really worked on my patience with the girls. I have a temper and I get frustrated easily. It drives me crazy to have to tell Paige something three and four times. Usually by the third and fourth time, I don't just tell her, I yell it at her. A lot of times after I have taken a step back from being impatient, I see the hurt in her eyes and know that I have broken her spirit a little bit. Thankfully, children are very forgiving and forgetful about this sort of thing, but one day she won't be. I don't want to break her spirit at all, but especially when she isn't so resilient to bounce back from it.
I have been praying for the Lord to give me more patience and He has delivered multiple opportunities for me to practice. However, I am thankful that I kept my patience even when Paige had an accident on the couch yesterday. And when she had an accident today and didn't tell me about it (how can I clean something up if I don't know it happened?).
I am also working really hard at being patient with Paige's gift of gab (she got it from me). Paige just loves to talk and sometimes I don't feel like I have time to listen to her jabber on about all these "little" things. However, they aren't little to Paige. And I am afraid that if I am always too busy or uptight to listen to all the little things that she has to say, she will quit talking to me, especially when it comes to the big things.
At times I feel so undeserving of my children, but these last few days, I feel like I have gotten a little bit closer to being the mom I want to be and the mom my children deserve.
My other success has been with prayer. I am really trying hard to talk to Heavenly Father about everything, even the minor details in life. I am trying to ask for his help and guidance, no matter how small the issue. This morning, I prayed that Heavenly Father would help me with potty training Paige (we have given up the Pull-Ups and are braving underwear!). I prayed that he would help me to be consistent. I prayed for some really specific things that really aren't that big of a deal, but none the less, I was struggling with them and asked for inspiration. Lo and behold, I encountered one of the situations that I was praying about today, and the answer on how to handle it just came to me.
I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who listens to and answers our prayers, no matter how big or little the issue. I am thankful for the small steps that I have been able to take these last two days. I pray that I will continue to have this resolve and have more successful days.
Both Monday and today, I have worked really hard to be patient. Patient with my kids even when they are whining and disobeying. Patient with the stage of life that I am in. Patient with being self employed. Patient with the Lord's time table. Patient with not having all the answers and solutions to some issues in my life that I want worked out this minute.
When I am fearful of something, I want the solution right away. However, the Lord doesn't always give us inspiration right away. There is one situation in particular in my life right now that I want to figure out my game plan with all the contingencies. I want it figured out right now what I am going to do if situation A arises and what I am going to do if situation B arises, etc. I want all the contingencies worked out right now. I am learning to take a step back and trust that the Lord will provide me with the right solution at the right time. He will let me know the best course to take before I need to take it....even if it is only minutes before. Sometimes, in my haste to get things worked out, I don't have enough information and the course of action I set my mind on doesn't turn out to be the best once I get more information. I need to be more patient with my Father in Heaven.
I have really worked on my patience with the girls. I have a temper and I get frustrated easily. It drives me crazy to have to tell Paige something three and four times. Usually by the third and fourth time, I don't just tell her, I yell it at her. A lot of times after I have taken a step back from being impatient, I see the hurt in her eyes and know that I have broken her spirit a little bit. Thankfully, children are very forgiving and forgetful about this sort of thing, but one day she won't be. I don't want to break her spirit at all, but especially when she isn't so resilient to bounce back from it.
I have been praying for the Lord to give me more patience and He has delivered multiple opportunities for me to practice. However, I am thankful that I kept my patience even when Paige had an accident on the couch yesterday. And when she had an accident today and didn't tell me about it (how can I clean something up if I don't know it happened?).
I am also working really hard at being patient with Paige's gift of gab (she got it from me). Paige just loves to talk and sometimes I don't feel like I have time to listen to her jabber on about all these "little" things. However, they aren't little to Paige. And I am afraid that if I am always too busy or uptight to listen to all the little things that she has to say, she will quit talking to me, especially when it comes to the big things.
At times I feel so undeserving of my children, but these last few days, I feel like I have gotten a little bit closer to being the mom I want to be and the mom my children deserve.
My other success has been with prayer. I am really trying hard to talk to Heavenly Father about everything, even the minor details in life. I am trying to ask for his help and guidance, no matter how small the issue. This morning, I prayed that Heavenly Father would help me with potty training Paige (we have given up the Pull-Ups and are braving underwear!). I prayed that he would help me to be consistent. I prayed for some really specific things that really aren't that big of a deal, but none the less, I was struggling with them and asked for inspiration. Lo and behold, I encountered one of the situations that I was praying about today, and the answer on how to handle it just came to me.
I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who listens to and answers our prayers, no matter how big or little the issue. I am thankful for the small steps that I have been able to take these last two days. I pray that I will continue to have this resolve and have more successful days.
3 comments:
That's positively inspirational! I feel like my 'work' areas are about the same: patience, understanding and prayer. I'm really glad you're posting these thoughts.
They may just be "small steps", but they are steps in the right direction. Does any mother actually feel like a good mother? I know I don't... I yell a lot too. And I don't always feel like listening to Oren gabbing either. He got that from me! :-) You are so NOT alone!
I totally agree with Michelle...small steps, but they are what make BIG changes! Sounds like you have some really good things going on...be proud!
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