Disclaimer: This post is about Joseph's injury 3 years ago. Many of you have heard this story, so feel free to skip this post. I have debated writing it but have never written this experience down and I want my children to be able to know about the hero their dad is and how hard he fought for them. I have included some pictures of his injury. Some are graphic so please proceed with caution.
Three years ago today, my life changed dramatically. Joseph had been deployed to Iraq for six months. We had begun to plan his homecoming which was 6 weeks away. I was so excited for him to come home. He had missed the first year of Paige's life and I was so excited to be a family once again.
About 10:30 in the morning, my phone rang. I recognized the number as someone from base but I didn't think a whole lot about it. President Bush had been in Idaho to visit the day before and I had gone to hear him speak. I had been on the phone a lot with 1st. Sgt. Heyob to coordinate tickets for the event. Although I found it weird he was calling, I didn't think anything of it.
I answered the phone and the 1st Sgt. asked how I was doing. I replied that I was fine and asked him how he was doing. He said that he was okay. He then asked me when the last time that I had talked to Joseph was. At this point, I panicked and with a trembling voice asked why. You see, the Marine Corps doesn't really care how often deployed Marines get to call home so I knew he wasn't asking for social purposes. The last time that I had talked to Joseph had been Tuesday night. However, he told me that he wouldn't be able to call for 4-6 days so I wasn't thinking much about the fact that I hadn't talked to him for a day and a half.
1st Sgt then informed me on behalf of the United States Marine Corps that my husband had been involved in a vehicle rollover and that he was in serious condition with abdominal injuries. I broke into tears. He told me that he didn't have very many details at that point but that he would call me as soon as he heard more. He did say that with abdominal injuries, that Joseph was probably in surgery but that the doctors would have him call me when he was stable and out of surgery. 1st Sgt. apologized over and over. Through my tears I thanked him. I thanked him for not being on my doorstep. Anyone who has any experience with the military knows that if they are on your doorstep it is to inform you of your loved one's death.
After I hung up with the 1st Sgt. my next call was to Joseph's mother. I didn't know how to tell her that her son was hurt. She wasn't home and so I called her on her cell phone. She was at Joseph's brother's painting. When she answered the phone, my voice caught. I didn't know what to say so I just blurted out that Joseph had been hurt and that he was in serious condition. She asked me if I was joking and I told her that unfortunately I wasn't. She told me that she would be over shortly and that she would call Joseph's dad and let him know.
After I hung up with her, I really didn't know what to do. It wasn't like I could jump in a car and run down to the hospital. I just had to wait to find out more. One of my biggest fears in life is the unknown and not being with Joseph and knowing how he was every minute was heart wrenching.
My father-in-law arrived to my house first. I remember walking outside and with tears streaming down my face, we just hugged. Soon after, my mother-in-law got their along with Joseph's brother who worked for Joseph's dad. He was on a construction site and Joseph's dad called the foreman to have him inform Josh and then send him over.
That day was so surreal. It felt like it wasn't really happening. I was literally living a nightmare. What do you do to make the time pass? I don't know what most people do, but my mother-in-law and I stayed busy. We couldn't just sit there and think about all the things that could be going wrong. So, we painted my bathroom. We just waited for the phone to ring, for any information about how Joseph was doing.
That day was one of the longest days of my life, but that night was even worse. I don't think that I slept at all. I cried and I prayed like I have never before prayed. I pleaded with Heavenly Father to save Joseph's life. I told Him how much I needed Joseph and how much our precious 10 1/2 month old daughter needed her daddy. Sometime during the night, peace finally came. I didn't have peace that Joseph was going to be okay, but I had peace that no matter what happened, God would make things okay.
At 6:30 Friday morning, I still hadn't heard anything. Not from Joseph, not from the 1st Sgt. I finally broke down and called the 1st Sgt. I was afraid that Joseph had died and that they were just waiting for the daytime to come and inform me. The 1st Sgt. assured me that Joseph was still alive and that he would have come anytime, night or day, to inform me if Joseph had died. He was surprised that I hadn't heard from Joseph yet. He was on his way into the office and told me that he would make some calls and call me in a little bit.
A little after 7:00, he called to tell me that Joseph had been flown to Landstuhl, Germany. The reason that Joseph hadn't been able to call was because he was in a drug induced coma and in critical condition. He said that he had talked to the surgeon in Germany who had just finished operating on Joseph and that the surgeon would be calling in about 20 minutes to explain to me Joseph's injuries.
My hand shook when the phone rang with the call from Germany. The doctor asked if I had any questions before he explained Joseph's injuries. I asked him if Joseph was going to live. He was quiet a long time before he told me that he wasn't sure. My heart broke.
He then told me that Joseph had sustained massive trauma to the abdomen. His duodenum (the first part of your small intestine that connects to your stomach) was severely bruised. Their concern was that it was so bruised that they were afraid it was going to rupture. If it ruptured, they didn't think that they would be able to save him. He had also sustained a liver laceration, pancreatic damage, and kidney damage. They said that although he was critical that his vitals were good and holding.
He told me that as soon as Joseph was a little bit more stable that they would fly him to the United States. He would be flown to the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland. He thought that it might be a week before Joseph was able to fly.
I finally called my parents who were on an Alaskan cruise. They were scheduled to come home the next day. I hadn't called them already because I knew my mom would want to jump off the ship and head for the nearest airport. I wanted them to finish their cruise and on Thursday I didn't have a lot I could've told them. I remember calling the cruise ship and my dad answered. After telling him, he said that my mom would call me as soon as they got to the next port (calling the cruise ship was $9.00 per minute).
I called Germany every 4-6 hours. I knew that I couldn't talk to Joseph but I wanted to talk to someone who was with him. The nurses their were wonderful and patient to answer all my questions every time I called. They always said that his vitals were strong and that he was a fighter. They also always asked me if there was anything that I wanted them to tell Joseph. I always asked that they told him that I loved him and that I was on my way.
On Saturday, they decided to fly Joseph to Bethesda the following day since his vitals had held strong. The Marine Corps made travel arrangements for me to fly to Bethesda and be their when Joseph got in. That too was a long day, waiting to find out what my travel arrangements were and if Joseph was going to for sure fly.
I stayed Saturday night at my parents house. When I put Paige down to bed, I didn't know when I would see her again. I felt so horrible as a mother for leaving her, even though my parents would (and did) take amazing care of her. I felt like I would either be a horrible mother or a horrible wife because I couldn't take her with me and not going to Bethesda wasn't an option.
Sunday morning my dad took me to the airport. Everyone was so nice and generous that day to help me out. There were several times that I just broke down in tears on the plane, not knowing what to expect or how to handle the situation. I hadn't seen Joseph for 6 months and now we were going to be reunited in these circumstances.
I landed in Bethesda about 4 hours before Joseph did. Thankfully, one of Joseph's Marine buddies from Idaho who had been previously injured and was going through rehab about 20 minutes from Bethesda met me at the hospital and took me to dinner so that I just didn't wait and wait with nothing to do.
Once Joseph arrived and was settled in ICU, they allowed me to go up and see him. By this time it was about 9:00 or 10:00 at night and I was exhausted. I remember riding in that elevator so afraid. I didn't know what Joseph was going to look like and it scared me. I will never forget walking into that ICU room and seeing him on a ventilator with 7 tubes coming out of his face and abdomen. After I walked in, the doctor told me not to hold my breath because they still didn't know if he was going to live.
I walked over to his bedside and held his hand. I rubbed his head as I told him that I was there and how proud of him I was that he was fighting so hard for me and for Paige. At one point, they lowered the dose of medicine that was keeping him in his coma so that he could respond to me. He fought to open his eyes when I called his name. He nodded when I asked him if he was in pain. He would squeeze my hand and I would just tell him to keep fighting.
On Monday, he had another surgery and on Tuesday, when I walked in, he was out of his coma. He was alert, awake, and angry. He was mad that the doctor in Al Asad, Iraq had sent him home. He didn't want to leave without the rest of his company. He didn't think it was fair that he was back in the United States and they were still in the desert. I told him that he almost died and that he still might. I told him that they had no choice but to send him home.
He then told me exactly what happened in the accident and also everything right up until he went into his first surgery.
In Iraq, Joseph was a machine gunner on a 7 ton truck (to give you a inkling of how big this truck is, the top of the tire comes to the top of my head) and ran convoy security. They were 2 miles from their destination when the driver fell asleep and rolled the truck. Joseph never lost consciousness. The truck bent him in half backwards (causing transverse process back fractures), rolled over his abdomen, and then left him in a heap after the gun turret ripped off. He said that he was able to get up and run back to the truck after it had stopped rolling. He said that when he stepped up onto the truck to check on the driver (who was non responsive) and felt sharp pain in his abdomen.
About this time, the next truck of Marines arrived and Joseph collapsed, unable to breath. The Corpsman got to him and decided that he needed a chopper. Joseph argued that he had just broken some ribs and that they could drive him to the aid station 2 hours away. The Corpsman insisted on a chopper. We found out later than had they driven Joseph the two hours, he would have died from internal bleeding due to his liver laceration.
Once they flew him to Al Asad (the main field hospital in Iraq), they did an MRI where they saw some internal bleeding. They told Joseph that they were going to do a 30 minute exploratory surgery. Joseph insisted that they not send him home and the surgeon told him that they would talk after surgery. They never woke Joseph up from that surgery. When they got in there and saw how bad it was, they fixed his laceration, stapled his duodenum closed, and put him into a drug induced coma. He then woke up five days later in the United States with me standing next to his bedside.
Over the next two months, Joseph was unable to eat. They fed him through a feeding tube going into his abdomen. He lost 50 pounds and when I brought him home, he weighed 135. Those two months were the hardest months of my life. Never have I endured a trial like this one but I have never been so blessed. There were so many miracles in those two months. There have been unmeasurable amounts of blessings that has come from this experience.
In another post (or several), I will talk about the many miracles. I want my daughters to be able to read back and know that Heavenly Father blesses you, even in your toughest trials.
I am so thankful that Heavenly Father allowed Joseph to live. To give you some perspective on the miracle of him living through this rollover, I would say that less than 5% of gunners survive vehicle rollovers. Most rollovers happen in Humvees which weigh a lot less than a 7 ton truck.
We recently met an amazing young man who survived a rollover of a smaller truck. However, he is paralyzed from the chest down. I believe that angels literally surrounded Joseph as that truck rolled and protected him. It is a miracle that he is alive today, with the ability to run, snowboard, wrestle with his daughters, and do everything that he loves.
I am thankful that Joseph never gave up, that he always kept fighting for his family. It didn't mean that he didn't have hard days or days where he was discouraged. But he never gave up. Today is a celebration for us, a celebration of life, and a celebration of miracles.
Joseph the day he came out of his coma
The surgeon told Joseph that even though it was going to be hard, she wanted him to try to get up and sit in a chair. His stomach wasn't even completely closed at this point. After she left, he gritted his teeth and got into the chair. Twelve hours later, she came back and was delighted to see him sitting up. She asked him how long he had been able to sit for. With gritted teeth but a look of determination, he told her that he had sat for twelve hours. He then asked if he could lay back down now. With a shocked look on her face, she immediately helped him into bed and then told him that she had only wanted him to sit for about a half hour.
Everytime she asked Joseph to do something, he went above and beyond. If she asked him to make a half lap around the hospital floor that day, he did two whole laps. He fought with everything in him.
Four of the tubes coming out of his abdomen.
Be thankful, this picture is small. This was his stomach when they finally let him take a shower (three weeks after the accident; I had been sponge bathing him up until this point). Click to enlarge if you really want to see what the fat layer of your stomach looks like.
Joseph and me
My surgery went great the end of October but the recovery really sucked. Don't forget to note the bottle of Norco on my bed post. It took me FOREVER to feel normal again. I am so glad that December has been much nicer. Our ward was absolutely wonderful. I was in awe of all the service that they rendered on my behalf. People dropped by food all the time, came and cleaned the house, watched the girls when I needed to rest, etc. My parents were also wonderful in making sure that they could be here and help me out when Joseph couldn't since I couldn't lift anything for 6 weeks. A little rough when you have a toddler.
